HEALTHY CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE 

Live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love one another as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Peter 3:8 NIV).

INTRODUCTION: How many of us have had disagreements in married life? It is normal, we are all different in our way of thinking, but, the bad thing is to let those problems fester and become a monster.

ACROSTIC "FIGHT" TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS.

Pon your eyes on your partner's eyes. How many of us have been tempted to walk away from an argument when we haven't finished solving it? Avoid temptation and put your eyes on your partner.

Evita destructive things. When we are in an argument, let us not add fuel to the fire, on the contrary, let us be more compassionate and patient.

• Avoid bringing up things from the past. Don't bring up things from ten years ago.
• Avoid getting off topic. Already angry we tend to address other problems. Avoid it!
• Avoid physical abuse at all costs. There is no justification for battering in marriage. Enough of our savage cultures from which we came, where we thought that with our hands we could fix things. God made us intelligent to fix things with love, with humility, and with words.

Lontrolled water. (Read James 3:2-9 NIV).

 When you argue heatedly control your tongue, do not verbally abuse. When there is verbal aggression a line is crossed where respect is lost. There is no need to shout, if you change the tone, but you should not shout or attack with bad words.

• Make a pact with your spouse not to cross those lines again.
• Ask for forgiveness with humility if you have offended with your words.

Estrecha hands. When you have arguments with your partner or even with your children, finish settling them. You can take a break for a few minutes, but you should never leave it unfinished. Make sure you finish and resolve the matter. At the end, shake hands. That helps, because when there has been a lot of anger we are damaged and apprehensive and physical touch brings healing. That will open the door to resolution. Hug your spouse or your children. "If you get angry, don't let it cause you to sin. Anger should not last them all day long, nor should they give the devil a chance to tempt them." (Ephesians 4:26-27 NASB)

Alaud God for the victory. Take problems as an opportunity to get closer and communicate with people, in this case with your partner or your children.

TIPS THAT WILL HELP YOU TO SOLVE CONFLICTS IN A HEALTHY WAY:

• Learn to stay calm. If you lose your cool, you're not going to solve anything. What is the first thing the authorities recommend when there is a fire? Stay calm. One of you in the marriage needs to learn to stay even-tempered.
• Learn to attack the problem, not the people. You have to learn to say: "I am going to attack the problem, not my spouse". If the problem is money, attack the money, not the spouse.
• Learn to listen. How many of us feel understood when we are listened to? How many of us have been hurt when we have been sent flying without first being listened to? Just five minutes of listening to your spouse and the anger level will go down.
• Learn to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes all a partner needs is to hear a sincere apology and that's the end of the problem.
• Learn to be kind and not harsh. (Proverbs 15:1 NTV) Which of the two do you use more at home, rough words or gentle words? Sometimes we are gentle with others, but at home with our spouse and children, we are not.

CONCLUSION: Every time we solve a problem as a couple, it brings us closer together. We cannot throw away our marriage because of an annoyance. Resolving conflicts is not easy, and doing it quickly, biblically, with respect, with dignity and with grace, could be difficult; but, it is possible with God and the results are much more beneficial. Ask God to help you and if you have not let Him into your life, pray the following prayer:

PRAYER OF SALVATION: Lord Jesus I acknowledge that I have sinned and that you died for me. Today I repent and ask for your forgiveness. I give you my life and my heart to be my Lord and my personal Savior, amen.

INTERACTIVE QUESTIONS:

1. How can you prevent problems in marriage from escalating into something bigger?
2. Why do you think it is important to remain calm during an argument?
3. What does it mean to attack the problem and not to
4.  the person in the middle of a conflict?
5. How can we practice forgiveness in our family relationships?
6. What differences do you notice between being polite and harsh in your words during an argument?

PRACTICAL APPLICATION:

• Pray in the GDC that in the future all members will look for ways to resolve conflicts in the way we have learned today and abandon the traditional way of shouting and aggression. Remember this question: How would Jesus Christ solve this problem? And solve it in the same way.

Apologize to the person you have hurt and make a pact with your loved ones not to cross the lines of respect when resolving conflicts.tion.